British Columbia, The Breast Place on Earth
November 19, 2008 by Joe Nathan
In an effort to revitalize the provincial economy, the Government of British Columbia has announced they’re changing the Province’s slogan from “The Best Place on Earth” to “The Breast Place on Earth.”
The new risque slogan is designed to attract more tourists, especially young males.
“This is a great day for BC,” said Premier Gordon Campbell at the official press conference this morning. “We’ve tried everything to ignite this struggling economy: lowered the PST, successfully bid for the Winter Olympics, built a grotesquely large convention centre with grass on its roof, and continue to keep homeless people on the streets. Nothing has worked. Hopefully this will give the economy the push-up it needs for the tourism industry.”
Another reason for the change was ongoing controversy surrounding the original “Best Place on Earth” slogan. Many advocates protested that BC may not in fact be the ‘best’ place on Earth, and could just be a ‘good’ place on Earth.
Premier Campbell agreed. “Although BC is a great place, it sure doesn’t compare to the beauty of an island like Maui. I have nothing but great memories about Maui. Eating melons and coconuts, sipping on mai tais, and going for sunset drives. Yup, there are no dark clouds over my memories of Maui.”
When The Daily Seagull questioned the Premier about his 2003 drunk driving conviction in Maui, his response was, “I don’t remember it, because I was too drunk. Therefore, I have no bad memories.”
Unlike the old slogan, the new version can be validated with two simple words:
Pamela Anderson.
The voluptuous sex symbol was born in Comox, BC. She was actually discovered when they showed her figure at a BC Lions game. She was wearing a tight t-shirt, and it truly was The Breast Place on Earth that night.
VANOC was also excited to hear the news of the new slogan. “That is the breast idea ever,” said John Furlong, head of VANOC. “And I do not pardon the pun!”
“I promise this will be the breastest Winter Olympics in history,” winked Furlong.
I spent many at day at Tits Beach this summer. Ahh… Kitsilano.
Go Gordo Go! This man is a genious. And yes Tits beach is awesome Karilyn, thanks for pointing that out.
Pop Quiz: Who’s the MLA for Tits Beach?