Dion Gets English Translator
October 2, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
The Liberal party has announced that Stephen Dion will have a translator present at the English Prime Minster’s election debate tonight in Ottawa. This comes in response to polls that show that 95% of English speaking Canadians cannot understand a single word Dion is saying.
The translator will stand next to Dion throughout the debate to clarify anything that the audience does not understand. The translator, Dr. July Crowe, has a PHD in Mumbling from the University of Vancouver. The Liberal Party expects Dr. Crowe to have a very busy evening.
The Liberal party is confident they are making the right decision. “I just had a 20 minute conversation with Mr. Dion and I didn’t understand a single word he said,” said Bill Hillsborough, Liberal Party spokesman. “I think Canada is ready for this type of leadership, we’ve had enough of Harper’s English clarity.”
In the event that the translator cannot understand Dion, the Liberal Party has also invited a lip reader. As a fail-safe, Dion will also have access to some paper and pens so he can try to draw out what he is trying to say.
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