Economical Beer Review: Extra Old Stock Beer
December 6, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
When I woke up this morning, it “Donned” on me that today is a very special day. To celebrate this special day, we will be reviewing a beer that is very close to a very special person.
This week, we’ll be reviewing Extra Old Stock. I know some of you out their are screaming at your computer screens (again), “WAIT A SECOND MCGARNICKLE, EXTRA OLD STOCK ISN’T A BEER, IT’S A MALT LIQUOR!!!” You’re right. So let’s call this the “Economical Malt Liquor Review.”
Beer: Extra Old Stock. Some people shorten it and call it “Oeos” or “E-O-S”.
Price (6-pack before taxes): $9.27, or $1.55 per beer. Certainly not as cheap as it used to be.
Slogan: Extra Old Stock doesn’t really have an official slogan. But when I was young I used to ask my Father why EOS was so cheap and had a higher alcohol content. He said it was because they made EOS with beer from the “Bottom of the Barrel”, and I believed him.
You could also argue that Extra Old Stock’s slogan is in its’ name. “It’s Extra Old Stock cause it’s extra old stock” (has a catchy ring to it). This would be like Pontiac naming their car “Metal With Wheels.” Or the Vancouver Canucks calling themselves “Inevitable Disappointment.” (ohhhhh burn…).
Quality: Extra Old Stock is definitely the higher class of the cheap beers. It’s like that homeless guy who still wears a business suit. But even though he’s wearing a suit, he still doesn’t taste very good. That analogy just got really awkward.
Social Acceptability: If you wear this hat and drink Extra Old Stock, we guarantee that you will be high-fiving people all night. If you wear this hat and drink Extra Old Stock, please collect your belongings and move on to the next town.
Unique Factor: Please look at the photo below:
What’s unique about this photo is not the fact that a large unidentifiable man is carrying a case of Extra Old Stock across the street. What’s unique is that someone in their car noticed this man, stopped their car, took out their camera, took a photo, posted it on their flickr page and then tried to mock the guy by saying “this guy’s having a party tonight.”
Pop quiz: who’s the real loser? The guy with the beer, or the guy taking the photo? Last time I checked you can’t drink a case of photos.
Final Score: 5.8 beers out of 6 pack. Almost a perfect 6.0, maybe in a couple years…eh?
Come back next week for another Economical Beer (or Malt Liquor) Review!
Anyone over 50 would know this beer as “High-Test”, that’s because it’s alcohol content was about 5.75% (the standard in those days was always 5%). DMW has good memories of high-test. Nice to see a classic beer from the old days making a great score….. btw…..Super picture of the future party guy on Broadway….