Goth Teenager Caught Listening To Coldplay
February 10, 2009 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
A 17 year old ‘Goth’ teenager was caught in an uncomfortable situation over the weekend when he was caught listening to Coldplay.
The incident occurred when Jeremy Valker, a self-proclaimed ‘Goth’, was listening to music on a busy public bus in Downtown Vancouver. The bus was forced to stop quickly causing Valker’s headphones to fall off his head and his hand accidentally turned the volume to full blast. Everyone on the bus was expecting to hear Marilyn Manson, but instead they heard the sweet-and-sappy sounds of a Coldplay song
Barb Crawford, a passenger on the bus, saw the whole situation unfold.
“He was staring aimlessly into space, clearly pondering death, again, when all of a sudden the bus braked quickly and suddenly Chris Marten’s angelic voice swept a down the aisle. The kid was so embarrassed that his self-inflicted scars went red,” said Crawford.
Valker quickly turned down the volume of his iPod, but that damage to his reputation was already done.
“I don’t understand why he’s so embarrassed,” said Angie White, a 97 year great-grandmother. “I really love Coldplay. When I heard them playing on his stereo it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I just wanted to give the young gothic man a hug.”
Valker fled the scene and has not been heard from since.


who cares?, it is really pathetic that THIS is considered news.
Mr. Valker looks like he’s in a mini-van?? and not a bus!
Good thing it wasn’t Nickelback, or else I would’ve given him his first set of non-self-inflicted wounds. No one exposes me to that crap- not even if it’s by accident.