Harper Picks Hockey Mom For Running Mate
October 8, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
Stephen Harper announced today who his vice-prime minister running mate will be in the 2008 Canadian Federal Election. Her name is Pamela Sarrin, a hockey mom from Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Not a lot is known about Sarrin other than that she’s a 48 year old mother of 3 children. A Conservative Party press release indicated that she has vast experience in leadership as she has organized the hockey team’s bake sale for the past 12 years. Her foreign policy is equally as impressive as she has been hosting a Korean ESL student for the last 3 years. This will be very useful for future negotiations with North Korea. She doesn’t speak French, but she does have a nice prairie accent that will melt the hearts of French Canadians.
This is a savvy political move by Harper in the home stretch of the election in an attempt to win back some of the votes he has lost to the NDP and Liberals over the past week. By announcing Sarrin as his running mate, Harper is hoping to win back voters in the female, non-robot and non-sweater-vest-wearing demographics.
This announcement has already caused the other candidates to scramble to find running mates of their own. Like Harper, they are all hoping to partner with someone who makes up for their deficiencies.
According to their campaigns: Jack Layton is looking for someone with long beautiful hair and no mustache; Stephan Dion is looking for a tall athletic man with courage and who can speak English. Elizabeth May is looking for an attractive woman; and Gilles Duceppe is looking for a miracle.
Parrin will be dropping the puck at tomorrow night’s Vancouver Canucks home opener.
“Stephan Dion is looking for a tall athletic man with courage and who can speak English” – - – Beautiful!