How to “Win” Your Fantasy Pool
September 20, 2008 by admin
In most parts of life, living out your fantasies can land you in jail. This is not the case with sports, as millions of people (mostly men) live out their fantasies of being a sports Genera Manager in fantasy leagues across North America. One of the most popular types of fantasy sports games in Canada is the NHL hockey pool.
The internet is always abuzz this time of year with hockey pool ‘experts’ giving you advice (sometimes at a cost) to help you win your hockey pool. But no matter how many magazine articles you read, ‘experts’ you talk to or games you watch, the chances are still high that you’re going to lose. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun!
So, here is the top 5 ways to have fun in your hockey pool (and possibly win).
1. Bring excessive amounts of information to the draft. Bring the hockey almanacs from each year between 1980-2008, and maybe even a dictionary just in case a game of scrabble breaks out. Exercise unnecessary impatience while others are picking, but expect unreasonable patience from everyone else while you are pondering your pick.
2. Drink, lots. Most Fantasy Sports sources will warn you about “being that guy.” Well, we’re encouraging you to “be that guy.” So drink lots, play drinking games, make wild accusations, give friendship-ending ultimatums, start a debate about abortion, puke on somebody’s laptop, puke on somebody’s lap, ask one of the other poolies out on a date…etc. Remember, embarrassment is only a state of mind.
3. Play psychological games. Remember that scene in Silence of the Lambs when Hannibal Lector is playing with Clarice’s mind like a fiddle. Do the same with your fellow poolies. Example,
“Hey Joe, I think Robert Lang is injured, or is he? He is…maybe… not! yes?”
4. Only pick players from your favorite team. So you like the Montreal Canadians, then why not pick only Montreal Canadians? Pick with your heart, not with your head.
5. Last but not least, stay as inactive as possible. As soon as the draft is over, pack up your books (see 1.), tip your hat and head for the door, never to participate in any trades, discussions or events for the rest of the year. If you can’t resist some participation, then in the middle of the season accuse your Hockey Pool Manager of cheating.
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