If the Presidential Candidates Were Technology, What Would They Be?
September 26, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
Voting ain’t easy. Especially if you’re an American.
On November 4, 2008 the American population goes to the polls to pick the next President and vice-President of the United States. For some, the decision is easy. But for others, the decision is a challenge.
So if you’re still confused about the candidates in the election, just ask yourself one question: If the candidates were a form of technology, what would they be? Below is an easy guide that will help even the most confused voter make their decision.
Barrack Obama: The iPod
If Steve Jobs was going to genetically make a politician, the result would be Barrack Obama. Obama fits the requirements of any good Apple product: he’s easy to understand, user friendly and he comes in black or white. Obama isn’t one of those boring old-school politicians who is plagued with failures, in other words, he’s not Microsoft. I can just imagine Steve Jobs’ next Apple conference. “Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the iBama.”
John McCain: VCR
VCR’s are old technology, some may even argue they’re extinct. The meteor to the VCR has been DVDs, Blue-Rays and PVRs. But if you visit most homes in America, the chances are high that you will still find a dusty VCR buried under the entertainment system. Why? Because while the VCR is an outdated technology, it is still useful for when you need to record a TV show if your PVR is broken, or if you want to reminisce with those old home movies that you haven’t converted to DVD yet. John McCain is just like a VCR: he’s old and outdated, but he’s sometimes still useful, especially for older people.
Joe Biden: Vintage Record Player
The evolution of music technology has gone from records, to 8-tracks, to tapes, to CDs, to mini-discs and now to MP3s. Most of the music technology prior to the MP3 is now in display cases in museums, except for the record player. Joe Biden is like a record player, while extremely old, he’s managed to maintain his nostalgic value across all demographics. The major downside of record players is sometimes the record will scratch and make a noise, or comment, that really hurts your hears.
Sarah Palin: A brand new technology that is very expensive
Sarah Palin represents that brand new piece of technology that at first glance looks like it will change your life. You have to have it regardless of the price. But after you buy it the problems start. It’s not compatible with your other equipment, difficult to understand and has a shady manufacturing history. You try to return it but there’s no return policy, so you’re stuck with it for at least 4 years.
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