New McCain Ad Sparks Controversy, Thirst
November 3, 2008 by Kevin Brockman
A controversial new ad campaign from McCain Lemonade has tied the popular juice company to Republican Presidential candidate John McCain. As the presidential election draws to a close tomorrow McCain has jumped onto the John McCain bandwagon in an effort to capitalize on the huge Republican marketing campaign for the presidential hopeful that shares the company’s name.
The controversial ad depicts a group of school kids sitting on the playgound and sitting in a circle drinking tetrapacks of McCain lemonade. In the background, a gigantic election poster shows a stretched out John McCain sipping lemonade through a straw in a hammock. Unfortunately, the smile of satisfaction on McCain’s face has caused quite a stir. “He is clearly leering at the children,” a frazzled Granny Miggins tells the Daily Seagull. “I find the ad to be quite inappropriate. I certianly won’t be voting for McCain or drinking that vile beverage.”
Public Relations representative from McCain Dewie Cheatem doesn’t see anything unethical or unusual about the new marketing campaign. “What better way to boost sales and increase brand awareness than to get our product out there beside McCain. Coka Cola has been tying their product to celebrities and sports heroes for years so I don’t see how this is any different. Our goal is for Americans to want to reach for a tall glass of lemonade every time they hear McCain’s name. I don’t see anything unethical about it.”
However, recent history suggests that advertising campaigns which attempt to link products to celebrities and other cultural “icons” have not always been successful in the past. The most memorable debacle occurred in 1995 when Sunkist made the poor decision to link their line of orange juices to O.J. Simpson. “That one didn’t work out so well,” Cheatem admits. “How could Sunkist have known that the guy from Naked Gun would turn out to be a murderer? Every time I hear someone order orange juice I cringe a little and look over my shoulder. He’s still out there you know.”
Despite a tumultuous history, Cheatem insists the power of celebrity affiliation can work in the right situation. “John McCain’s popularity has never been higher than it is right now. I’m sure that every time the troops in Iraq hear his name they think President first and ‘I’m thirsty’ second.”
McCain is expected to lose the election to Democratic candidate Barack Obama this week, ending months of bitter election coverage and putting an end to stories such as these.
What granny Miggins doesn’t know is that vile beverage is the secret to McCains long life. If he keeps drinking it he will live to a 129!
oooohhh, iii think youu are forgetttting sommeeething. When I sacrificed myself to become a bag of magic youth-giving fried potatoes I didn’t give up my status as a spud-stud for nothing! ooohhhh, youuu caan’t give all the creedit to Mr Lemon Head. What do you think the Senator eats to cut through the sour taste of that acidic mafaka. And why do you think you only ever see young people eating me now? Because McCain superfries are a deep fried fountain of youth. Fools. Who writes this crap anyway?