Quatchi Caught In Olympic Scandal
October 19, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
Quatchi, one of the beloved mascots for the 2010 Vancouver Olympics games, is caught in a scandal of Olympic proportions. Quatchi is being accused of using products and services that are not official sponsors of the 2010 Olympics.
Witnesses report that last weekend Quatchi was seen eating 57 hamburgers at Burger King and then drinking a barrel of Pepsi. For most sasquatches this is a typical breakfast, but for a sasquatch that is in contract with the 2010 Olympics and all of its sponsors, it’s a major problem.
By consuming Burger King and Pepsi, Quatchi is in direct conflict with Vancouver 2010 official sponsors McDonalds and Coca-Cola. It is also being reported that he used a Mastercard to pay for the food (Visa is the major credit card sponsor).
The Daily Seagull tried to contact Quatchi, the young sasquatch from Canada’s mysterious forests, but he was unavailable for comment. A press release from the Vancouver 2010 media relations says that the issue is being investigated further and Quatchi will be ‘reminded’ of his role as an Olympic mascot. All of the mascots signed a contract stipulating that they would only use products and services endorsed by Vancouver 2010.
Quatchi’s mascot partner, Sumi, was not surprised to hear of the scandal. “He’s always been his own sasquatch,” said Sumi, an animal spirit from the mountains of British Columbia. “But he better get his act together quickly because the Olympics are depending on him. If it wasn’t for us, children would have no interest in the Olympics.”
When sponsors were informed about Quatchi’s antics they were not impressed. “This is not good,” said Neil Green, spokesman for GM, another major sponsor for the 2010 games. “We were initially quite concerned when they announced that a sasquatch would be used as a mascot given their mysterious nature and unreliability. Now those initial concerns have been confirmed. I knew they should have just stuck with Orcas.”
Say it ain’t so Quatchi. Come back to land of the golden arches.
I love you Quatchi, you’re my hero!