Rain Publicly Criticizes Snow
January 4, 2009 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
After weeks of silence, Rain has finally spoken out against Snow’s recent weather domination in Vancouver and the lower mainland. At a press conference held at Vancouver’s Umbrella Shop on Granville Island, Rain expressed its concern and overall frustration with Snow’s recent weather monopoly.
“We are always the first to support an equal rights weather system in Vancouver,” said a teary eyed Rain.
“In the past we’ve been happy to share the winter months with Snow as they usually only stick around for a day or two, or at maximum a week. But it’s been 3 straight weeks of Snow, and enough is enough. It’s time to share the weather again.”
Since December 13, 2008, Vancouver and the lower mainland have experienced an onslaught of Snow. During this span Snow has dominated the headlines as it disrupted the roads, transportation systems and airports. While Snow is it not unusual during this time of year in Vancouver, the amount and duration certainly is.
“It is very difficult for us to compete with Snow,” said Rain. “Snow is like the celebrity of weather. It’s always on the front page of the newspaper and the top story on the evening TV news. Kids love it cause it closes down their schools and they can play in it. There’s no such thing as a rain-ball fight.”
“We only get attention if we go no-stop for several consecutive days and we cause flooding. Otherwise, we’re just another typical day in Vancouver and the lower mainland. We’ll give snow a few more days, and if they’re still around then we may seek legal action.”
Another weather system, Wind, agrees with Rain’s sentiments.
“I can see why they’re so upset,” said Wind. “This is usually Rain’s time of year to shine, but Snow hasn’t given them the chance. I remember back in 2006 when we dominated the weather and destroyed Stanley Park and caused major damage throughout the region. But then we gracefully stepped down and let the other weather systems have a chance. We’re cool like that.”
However, not everyone is in support of Rain’s case against Snow. Hail, another weather system in Vancouver, thinks that Rain’s press conference was an embarrassment.
“I only get one or two hours of weather per year,” said Hail, as he banged his fists repeatedly on the table. “And Rain is complaining about not getting enough exposure? What a joke, no wonder nobody likes them except the ducks.”
The Daily Seagull tried to reach Snow for their comments but their answering machine said they were “currently extremely busy.” As usual, Sun’s whereabouts is unknown.
What about Sleet, did you ask him what he thought??? So typicaly, nobody ever bothers to ask Sleet. Poor guy.
What about my feelings? Whenever I come around, people get excited, but then laugh, and say “Oww!”. No respect for the Almighty Hail.
Weather or not you agree with Rain, Snow is still cooler!
Gristie Cordon is hot! Oh wait that’s Christie Gordon, my bad :S