Sean Avery: “Everybody deserves a seventh chance”
February 28, 2009 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
The Dallas Stars are preparing to place Avery on waivers which would open the door for any other club to claim him. Media reports on Saturday are suggesting that Sean Avery may be on the verge of returning to the New York Rangers.
Upon news of his imminent re-entry to the NHL, Sean Avery was very excited.
“My parents always told me that everybody deserves a seventh chance,” said an emotional Avery. “My parents also taught me to do one to others as they wouldn’t do to you, and that’s worked so far!”
Avery was suspended by the NHL and sent to rehab after publicly mocking his ex-girlfriends last year. The incident was the latest in a string of poor on and off-ice behavior which has made Avery an infamous NHL star.
“The world needs a-holes, and that’s why you’re here!” said Avery as he pointed to a random bystander at the press conference for no apparent reason whatsoever.
John Tortarella, New York’s new coach, is excited to potentially have Avery on his team.
“We’re really looking forward to having Avery on our team. He’s almost like insurance for the club. If we start to play really bad, then we can just put all the blame on him. And if we play well, I can take all the credit for taking a chance on him. It’s a win-win for me.”
If Avery joins the Rangers this week he is expected to play immediately. You can also expect sports networks to dedicate way too much time to his return.
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