Stephen Harper proposes $70 bailout
September 26, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper unveiled his $70 bailout plan at a press conference last night in Ottawa. The proposed plan is a direct response to recent news that the financial situation of a man in Thunder Bay, Ontario is in grave risk to all of Canada.
The man in question, Billy-Rob Davids, borrowed some money from a local loan shark several months ago to finance his Volcano Insurance business. When the business fell through, Davids was not able to repay the full amount to the loan shark. Consequently, the loan shark, who was unable to receive its money from Mr. Davids, was forced to forfeit its business due to a lack of funds. Thus began the domino effect as other loan sharks, drug dealers and illegal gamblers were forced to shut down business due to nonpayments on loans from their clients.
“Without immediate action by the Canadian government, Mr. Davids could slip into a financial panic and a distressing scenario would unfold for all of Canada,” Harper said. “More loans could fail, the stock market could crash, your retirement account value could reduce, the value of your home could plummet, foreclosures would rise dramatically, the illegal drug and gambling underworld could become extinct.”
Parliament will meet next week to discuss the controversial proposal by Harper. But if it was up to Billy-Rob Davids, there would be no need for a discussion. “For the price of one month of Volcano Insurance, Canada can avoid a financial collapse,” said Davids.
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