Sweater Vest Sales Down 110%, Cause: Stephen Harper
September 18, 2008 by admin
Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada, has been making a fashion statement during his campaign run for this Fall’s national election. In the past, Harper would not have been caught dead without his trademark suit and tie. But in response to his inability to connect with ‘regular people’, Harper has been putting away his suit and tie, and putting on his sweater vest.
Although this ‘casual’ fashion statement is helping him in the polls, not everyone is happy. The Gap clothing store has recently posted record losses, and the primary cause of this is attributed to the lack of sales of sweater vests.
Stacey Jones, the manager of The Gap in Metrotown Burnaby, thinks she knows why sweater vest sales have dropped over the past few weeks. “It’s because that Stephen Harper guy keeps wearing them in those commercials. Seriously, who wants to look like Stephen Harper? I know I don’t.”
The situation is so bad that customers who had previously purchased sweater vests in the past are now returning them. Simon Timms bought his sweater vest 15 years ago and wore it at least once a week during that time. Today he dropped off the vest at The Gap explaining that he did not want to be like Stephen Harper. “I’m going to miss my sweater vest,” said Timms. “My vest was a true friend, always there when I needed him, keeping my chest warm.”
In response to the abundance of sweater vests, The Gap has decided to donate them to the local shelter. So, in a twist of irony, the sweater vests that Harper has made uncool, will now be keeping the people warm who Harper has made homeless.
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