Cactus Club Hires First Ever Average Looking Waitress
December 1, 2008 by Matthew Mcgarnickle
The Cactus Club Cafe restaurant surprised many this weekend after they hired their first ever average looking waitress. The new waitress, Julia Deston, will work at the flagship restaurant on Burrard Street at Dunsmuir.
Deston, the successful applicant and self-proclaimed ‘average looking waitress’, was thrilled about the opportunity.
“This is a dream come true for me,” said Deston. “I’m going to have to work extra hard though because I don’t have the attractive physical features to fall back on if I screw up.”
Deston then goes on to describe how she once witnessed a Cactus Club waitress spill a pot of boiling water on a man’s face, giving him fourth degree burns and scarring him for life. But the attractive waitress was able to smile at the screaming man and toss her hair back, and all was forgiven.
“I don’t have that luxury,” says Deston.
Greg Tynes, owner of the Cactus Club Cafe franchise, is also excited about the new waitress. “Our first impression of Julia wasn’t so good,” said Tynes. “We typically hire only perfect 10′s, and she would probably be a 7.5, maybe an 8 with good lighting.”
“But once the interview started we were blown away with her ability to communicate and express emotions, which is unusual for most of our applicants. We were particularly impressed with her ability to string multiple words together into coherent sentences. So we threw caution to the wind and hired her.”
While this is a major milestone for the restaurant and average looking people everywhere, the news was still bittersweet for some. Particularly for young men who frequent the restaurant for the ‘scenery.’
Troy Bolland, a 25 year-old male who goes to the Cactus Club at least twice a week, is one of those people with mixed feelings.
“It’s good because now when I order a pint of Rickards Red, I won’t get a glass of chicken wings,” said Bolland. “But it’s bad because those waitresses are the closest I’ll ever get to having a beautiful girlfriend.”
Julia Deston disagrees. She thinks that her ‘average look’ should benefit this demographic of men.
“In the past, these men would be so distracted by the waitresses that they wouldn’t give their dates any attention. Now, without this distraction, they’ll have no choice but to seek companionship from realistic women,” said Deston.
Deston will be on probation for the next 12 months, and if her stint is successful the Cactus Club Cafe will pursue hiring other average looking waitresses. They may even consider allowing some of the kitchen staff to be seen outside of the kitchen.
Best. Post. Ever.
haha
Did I just waste those few precious moments of my life reading this? I feel sorry for the writer, and for whoever else reads this ridiculous article. Cactus club girls are extremely intelligent girls, who just happen to be gorgeous as well. Most of them are going to school, and so serving is a perfect job, as they can make great money and still have plenty of time for studies.
Don’t hate because they’re hot AND smart.
are you kidding me???really???? don’t you have anything else to right about????
I thought this was a joke when I read this!
No it’s serious as apple pie on crisp summer morning Brittany!
before you start judging girls and rating them from 1-10, maybe you should start looking at yourself in the mirror. It truly bothers me that I read this article. I understand to be in the industry you have to be good looking. It has always been that way … but for a article to be published about an “average” looking waitress, is just plain stupid. It shows the values and morality of Cactus Club and how shallow the franchise is for even letting this article become published. Don’t get me wrong I used to be a waitress, and it is true, you can get away with anything if you have looks. But just because a girl has looks or she is a “perfect 10″ that doesn’t mean she is stupid or not intellectual. “It’s good because now when I order a pint of Rickards Red, I won’t get a glass of chicken wings,” said Bolland. I would love to see Troy trying to take on 5 tables all with drink orders, dinner orders with substitutions and some idiot screaming over everyone that he wants a beer. And at the end of the night have to go home and study since she has a midterm or a final the next day. The fact that we can deal with idiots who come into a restaurant thinking they own the place and the girls have some sort of obligation to them shows that they themselves have very little amount of brainpower. Ignorance is usually blind to itself. Here’s a tip for you.. open your minds. A little note to Julia Deston, don’t let anyone bring you down by saying you are average.. I don’t know what you look like but let me tell you something… its Cactus Club and its shallow values that is what is wrong with this materialistic world… everyone is beautiful in their own way. The only reason why they have published this article is to get some media coverage as the economy slows down, you are being a puppet to a corporation.
Cactus Club is stupid anyways…That place is BS with crap food. Cactus Club frequenters are sad.
This is a hilarious article. If you worked in Richmond which is not known for its women and would walk in Cactus Club and see the eye candy you wouldnt be so quick to knock the wait staff.
its a joke idiots lighten up
I hear they’re planning on hiring waiters with fake boobies next year…any truth to the rumor!?!
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